I’ve posted before about how much I love to try out new languages, and also about how when the language gets tough, this learner gets going…to another language. Over the last couple of months I’ve taken a step back to figure out why, despite my star-bright interest, I don’t retain any of it once I shut the book, put down the cards, turn off the app.

Of all of the languages I’ve attempted, the one that sticks the most is Japanese. Why?

One of the things that people say about learning a language is to have a good reason. Not a goal, that’s separate, but a reason for muscling through when the grammar rules get tangled and the vocabulary begins to bounce around your brain and words stop making sense.

My reason for learning Japanese was something like being able to watch anime without subtitles. To listen to Japanese music and know what I’m singing along to. And that’s no different than my reason to learn Chinese, but the difference was that I was taking lessons from a friend and I wasn’t afraid of making mistakes.

I had books and flashcards (apps weren’t a thing then), a full-time job, active social life, and family responsibilities and yet somehow the language stuck (for the most part). The grammar made me tear at my hair, but I was willing to keep at it…until I moved and lost the connection with my friend. I tried to keep it going with a couple of classes but it wasn’t the same. I let it go.

I didn’t try another language until Welsh, then Chinese, and I had a couple others that I thought I’d pick up like French (from high school) and Spanish (from college) but after a couple of months it seemed less like a fun hobby and more like a part-time job I wasn’t getting paid for.

So why am I tackling Italian? Because I found a reason that makes me smile.

I have been friends with someone from Milan, Italy for years and years and we always speak English. It never occurred to me that I should try to speak Italian other than wishing her happy birthday on a card. Over the last couple of years as I’ve been attempting different languages, I’ve come to appreciate the effort non-English speakers make to learn my language. My friend says she likes the practice but I’m realizing that it’s a bit selfish of me to expect her to always speak English.

There is a very good chance I am going to get to see her this summer (if the scheduling works out) and I would love to be able to hold my own with her speaking Italian while we’re together. When I told her I was going to learn Italian she immediately volunteered to help in any way I needed. She’s someone I won’t be afraid to make a mistake with, and I’m realizing more and more how important that is for me.

My reason is to have a conversation in Italian with my friend, and my goal is to make that happen in six months. (Deadlines work well for me.)

I have a couple of books, I have the flashcards, I have the app, and I have the music (looking up “Italian rock bands” introduced me to Måneskin and I have not looked back), and I have a friend to practice with.

And I’ve done something else: dropped the classes I signed up for that I was taking “for my future.” I barely even looked at my notes after taking them, which said to me that I liked the idea of the career more than the reality of making it happen. (That could be a whole post on its own.) Paring down my commitments to take others (fewer others) more seriously has done wonders for my stress levels. I am really excited to be doing this.

I’ll be updating here about my progress. Wish me luck!