I made the decision to participate in NaNoWriMo over the summer because I had a great idea that needed research and I had the time. Unfortunately, when November rolled around I realized that I should have just written down the idea with as much info as I could, saved the research, and got on with life until I actually had the opportunity to give it my full attention. Eh, hindsight and all that.

Working under a deadline tends to be when I shine, and turning in projects just under the wire should be an Olympic sport because I’d have all the gold medals, but there is a limit to how much a person should take on and expect to accomplish well. Of course, I could not have anticipated some of the upheavals I am experiencing right now on personal and professional levels, so there’s that, and I know things will calm down but most likely not for a little while.

The logical thing to do would be to acknowledge that I will not be able to reach the 50K word goal by the end of November and let myself off the hook for NaNoWriMo this year. Of everything that needs to be done or attended to that is the one thing that is voluntary; stopping now would make sense. The problem with that is…I’ve missed creative writing. Not only that, I’d forgotten how cathartic it is to throw the riot of emotions inside of me on paper and watch someone else deal with them. Of course, my characters are 17th century nobles and dealing with relationship issues and werewolves at the moment, but the spirit is the same, I guess. 

Over the years, when I’ve felt overwhelmed like this, I poke around online and read articles about ways to cope. I avoid the ones with more than five steps because who has time for that? And yet…I am online and not doing work, but with the excuse that I’m doing it for my well-being. Then I feel guilty about wasted time. But is it wasted? Oh, the mind boggles. 

I wrote a post a while back about what I do when I’m overwhelmed with ideas, and while this is different, in a way it’s not. I suggested talking it out and making lists and that’s actually what will save me now. Talking with my professors and admitting to not being completely focused, talking to my co-workers about delegating tasks and any concerns about meeting deadlines, talking to my husband about the move we have planned for next year and my excitement and my fears, and my characters are talking out their own secrets and fears and loves. 

I’m also making lists. Homework deadlines, thesis deadlines, work task deadlines, moving task deadlines, NaNo word goals with rewards, and even the little things like, oh, remember to clean the bathroom this weekend and Ms Hill your darned laundry belongs hung up in the closet and not becoming more and more wrinkled in the laundry basket. When it’s on a list, it’s so much more satisfying to get it done so I can cross it off!

And I will continue to write because I had to face the fact that practice makes perfect and I was not doing myself any favors by ignoring it all. Will I make the November 30 deadline? Maybe? Maybe not, but I don’t plan to stop until I reach 50K no matter how long it takes. And then I’ll move on with the bits that really worked and see what I can make of it. I will keep writing, and I will talk and makes lists, and it will all get done in the end. 

I think this has turned into a little pep talk to myself rather than a real blog post, but hopefully someone will read this and take something good away from it. Pull up your socks and carry on!